Pastiche: Poul Anderson's Conan the Rebel

Front fold out cover

Introduction: In 1980, an author that I adore wrote a Conan pastiche titled Conan the Rebel. I really wanted to like this one, for two reasons. The first is, the novel is bravely set during Conan's time with Bêlit from one of my favorite Robert Howard Conan stories, "Queen of the Black Coast". Queen is amongst my three favorite Conan yarns, I view it as Howard's re-telling of Bonnie and Clyde in the guise of Conan and Bêlit. Their romance is narcissistic on one level, true on another, and I would say, dangerous to both. I assume the readers of CROM! have read Queen, but in case you haven't, I don't want to give too much away, so I end my discussion of it here.

The second reason I wanted to like this novel is Poul Anderson. I have not read a lot by Mr. Anderson, but what I have read, I have enjoyed. I have reviewed his books The Broken Sword, The High Crusade and Three Hearts and Three Lions at my gaming blog Random Encounters. All three of those works were recommended by Gary Gygax in "Appendix N" of literature which inspired Dungeons & Dragons (Robert E. Howard's Conan stories get a solid nod in the appendix, I might add). Appendix N has driven my reading habits for years. Another tick in Poul Anderson's favor is two of his works were selected by Lin Carter for inclusion in his edited Ballantine Adult Fantasy Series; the aforementioned The Broken Sword and Hrolf Kraki's Saga.

It not unfair to say that perhaps my expectations were too high.



Rear Cover

The Skinny: Conan and Bêlit come under the scrutiny of prophecy. The Stygian sorcerer of Set, Tothapis, fears that combined they may interfere with his visions of grandeur, so he sets a plot in motion to destroy them. Conan is drawn into Tothapis' web with the goal of rescuing Bêlit's brother whom she thought lost to her. In the course of the adventure, he discovers that he may very well be the fabled wielder of the Ax of Varanghi, which means he may be the saviour of an enslaved people.

The Good: First off, it is written by Poul Anderson, and while this has not been my favorite pastiche, it is still a decent read, just not a great read. Poul delivers with vile villains and interesting characters. Young Falco, with his naive love of a woman that is obviously not what she claims to be entertains. As does the young fierce daughter of a barbarian chieftain, Daris. Even his minor characters that appear briefly are good: he introduces a small tribe of warriors from the same land as Bêlit's crewmen. His villainess Nehekba, the high priestess of Derketa, is sultry and dangerous, if a bit naive herself. The battle scenes in the end are well written and exciting, as is a scene where Conan and companions deal with a nest of ghouls.

The Bad: I had a hard time keeping my interest upon this novel. Typically, I can read a Conan pastiche in two or three sittings. I kept putting this novel down without picking it up for days; finally, I slogged through the last four chapters just to finish it.

Anderson doesn't seem to have a firm grasp of who Conan is. I found his Conan too fawning with his affections for Bêlit. Yes, they were in love, even madly, but I found myself cringing every time Conan said, "my beloved", "my dearest", etc..  Upon meeting Bêlit's brother, he embraces him with much emotion exclaiming "By the Lance of Crom!" By the what of who? Crom had a lance? A barbarian god had a lance? Also, at one point in the novel, Conan looks out a window and decides that climbing down the wall would be too dangerous. This is the same Conan who thought nothing of scaling the "impossible" walls of the Tower of the Elephant?

His grasp on Conan's world was also shaky in my opinion. I thought his use of magic in was too "high" for believability. There was a ship of Set which was powered by magic, no oars or sail needed. This just didn't sit well with me and seemed almost too fantastic.

The Ugly: I expected a story about Conan and Bêlit. My favorite she-pirate appears in three chapters and then only briefly. What I thought was going to be an expansion of one of my favorite Howard stories was a missed opportunity and I felt let down.

Summary: I can't with a clear conscience recommend this novel. It is not the worst Conan pastiche I have read, but it was written well and had interesting characters and concepts. If you have not read "Queen of the Black Coast", do so. Then read this novel and let me know what you believe.

One final note, this is the fifth book in the Bantam series of the new adventures of Conan (prior to the Tor novels); however, the book is labeled as book 6 on the spine. All of my research has pointed that there were five books in this series and that this one is the fifth. If anyone has any enlightenment for me about that, I would appreciate the information.

Karl Edward Wagner's The Road of Kings

 Introduction: Karl Edward Wagner (B: December 12, 1945; D: October 13, 1994) is most famous for his own Sword & Sorcery hero, Kane; however, he was a great friend to Conan of Cimmeria. 1976, saw the publication of Wagner's Legion from the Shadows, a pastiche featuring the REH character Bran Mak Morn. In 1977, being a harsh critic of L. Sprague de Camp's editing and re-writes of classic Robert E. Howard tales, Wagner edited three volumes of Conan stories for Berkley Press: The Hour of the Dragon, The People of the Black Circle and Red Nails. These three volumes were pure REH with no rewrites. Between the years 1978 to 1982, Bantam Books published seven volumes of Conan pastiche. Volume four being The Road of Kings by Karl Edward Wagner.

The Skinny on the plot (spoilers free): A young Conan is rescued from a hanging by a band of outlaws that are allied with a revolutionary group calling themselves the White Rose. The White Rose are plotting a revolution to overthrow the despot ruler of Zingara. The revolution occurs with unexpected results with the help of a mysterious Stygian sorcerer. That is as much as I will tell you, and I foreshadow my summary here: find this book and read it!

The Good: KEW's description of the Pit is excellent. The Pit is a section of Zingara that ravished by earthquakes has sunken beneath the level of the rest of the city. It cycled all sorts of kewl ideas in my gamer mind. Wagner tells a fast paced tale that pulls you along. His created characters are interesting and well developed. 

The Bad: While Wagner's depiction of Conan didn't give me fits, I couldn't help thinking that his characterization of Kane seems more "Conanesque" then his Conan. This isn't enough though to keep me from highly recommending this book to fans of good Conan pastiche. 

The Ugly: Karl Edward Wagner was a great writer. If you haven't read his Kane stories, I highly encourage you to do so; however, they are a rare find and are often expensive to purchase when they are found. Unfortunately, this is the only Conan pastiche written by the late great Karl Edward Wagner.

Andrew J. Offutt: The Conan Pastiche

Introduction: Around the age of 12, I read a steady diet of Conan pastiche. A Conan pastiche (to me the word "pastiche" sounds like a good cheese) is a story featuring the character Conan, but not written by Howard (although a pastiche is not a cheese, some Conan pastiche are indeed cheesy). It was not until the recent publication of Howard's works in their unadulterated entirety that I made the move from a "works of Howard fan" to a "Robert E. Howard fan". While I am now solidly in the camp of REH Fans, I am not a pastiche snob, meaning, I will give a pastiche a good shake without immediate dismissal. Some recent lucky finds at a yard sale have given me liberty to dive into the realm of Conan pastiche. Some works I am re-reading after 25 years, others I am reading for the first time.

The Skinny: Conan and the Sorcerer and Conan The Mercenary were written in 1978 and 1980 respectively. They were published by Ace Fantasy, written by Andrew J. Offutt and featured about 50 internal illustrations each by the artist Esteban Maroto.  They were written as "Mercenary" being a sequel of sorts to "Sorcerer"; however, Offutt recaps the events of "Sorcerer" in "Mercenary" well enough that either could be read independently of the other. A third book exists, The Sword of Skelos, that I have not read which makes a trilogy. Andrew J. Offutt has written much Howard pastiche for the character Cormac Mac Art and is also known for his stories adding to the "Thieves World" series, particularly for the creation of the character Shadowspawn. Offutt is also well known for editing the Swords Against Darkness volumes. Esteban Maroto is no stranger to Howard's creations either. He created the famous chain-mail bikini worn by the Howard inspired, but Roy Thomas created, character Red Sonja and was at the forefront of the "Spanish" invasion of comics during the 1970's. His early works were featured in the Warren Publishing titles Creepy, Eerie, and Vampirella.

The plot (SPOILERS ALERT): The two stories take place shortly after Howard's tale "The Tower of the Elephant", feature a very young Conan (his age is placed at 17 in the books) in search of wealth and adventure. The plot of "Sorcerer" has Conan trying to steal a relic called the Eye of Erlik from a sorcerer's tower. While doing so, he stumbles across two other thieves who beat him to the prize; however, it is Conan who is caught by the sorcerer, one Hisarr Zul. Zul is a sorcerer that steals men's souls and forces their soulless bodies into his servitude. Conan encounters some of Hisarr Zul's soulless guardians and is freaked out by them. As punishment for his attempted burglary, Hisarr Zul steals Conan's soul and traps it in a mirror. He then places Conan on a quest to steal back the Eye of Erlik from the thief that made off with it (a lovely she-thief named Isparana). In "Mercenary", after recovering the Eye of Erlik and slaying Hisarr Zul (events which occurred in "Sorcerer"), Conan has recovered the mirror that holds his soul, but is still separated from his soul within. He sells his services to a young, lovely lady noble named Khastris. Conan journeys with her to her homeland in hopes that her cousin, the Queen of Khauran, can join him with his soul (he learned from a sand lich in "Sorcerer" that one way of retrieving his soul is to have the mirror shattered by one wearing a crown). In Khauran, he gets embroiled in a sorcerous plot to take over the kingdom.

The Good: Offutt does not attempt to imitate Howard; instead, he writes in his own voice. This is something I prefer in pastiche versus someone trying to sound like Howard. While Offutt is not, in my opinion, the strongest of writers, he is accomplished enough to push a "Howardesque" yarn along. Complementing Offutt's writing are a healthy dose of illustrations by Esteban Maroto. See examples (with my apologies for my slip-shod photography):

Conan battling the Sand-Lich (Conan and the Sorcerer)

Illustration of Isparana of Zamboula (Conan And the Sorcerer)

Conan rescuing Lady Khashtris from night assassins (Conan the Mercenary) 

Conan brooding over his murdered lover (Conan the Mercenary)

The Good (continued): The highlight of both short novels for me was Conan's encounter with the Sand-Lich. An indestructible creature clearly out of his league, Offutt doesn't miss a chance to highlight Howard's character and his defiance of death and giving up. All in all, Offutt writes a fast paced yarn, full of well written fight scenes. His portrayal of Hyborea is well done, written with simple, yet effect prose.

The Bad: While I found "Sorcerer" an enjoyable, if forgettable read, "Mercenary" held far less appeal for me. There were three main reasons for this. 1. "Mercenary" lacks a memorable villain. There is a sorcerer introduced in the prologue of the story, but he never makes another appearance. In the prologue, the sorcerer uses his dark arts to make an aging baron appear years younger. The baron hopes to use his young appearing form to strengthen his place in a circle of nobles that have denied him respect and power. It is never explained what this mysterious sorcerer is gaining from this. 2. An interesting back story is set up with the Queen of Khauran, each generation will see the birth of a witch that must be killed. Because of this curse the Queen kills her own child. This has much potential, but is not exploited in the story and rests as back ground noise. 3. Offutt has Conan playing detective in this story, and in the climax, Conan disguises himself as a seer in order to ensnare plotters against the throne in a trap. This rung untrue for me. While I recognize that Conan, as told by Howard, was more intelligent then most give him credit for, it just didn't seem very "Conan-like" to me.

The Ugly: The biggest crime committed in the two short novels occurs in "Mercenary". Offutt commits the crime of "telling versus showing". In about three short paragraphs, he narrates a tale of how Conan is kicked out of the courts of Khauran, falls in love and later in that chapter, broods over the murdered corpse of his young lover vowing that from here on out he will not fall in love. It was way too much story crowded into a short narrative chapter.

Odd Observations: The sand creatures that Conan battled in the 2011 movie Conan the Barbarian share a similarity to Offutt's Sand-Lich in "Sorcerer"; I wonder if there was an inspiration here? The 1997 - 1998 TV series Conan the Adventurer, features as a main villain a sorcerer named Hissah Zuhl (played by Jeremy Kemp). The names Hissah Zuhl and Hisarr Zul strike a certain similarity that again makes me wonder, was Offutt's idea aped for the series?

Conclusion: While I wouldn't recommend these stories as a nice jumping on point for potential Howard enthusiasts, I would recommend them at least as decently written pastiche without glaring non-Howardian faults. The illustrations by Esteban Maroto help elevate them on the list for Conan pastiche collectors, if not as must-haves, then certainly as entertaining curiosities.

Robert E. Howard's The Coming of Conan Collection Makes NPR's List of 100 Greatest Science Fiction and Fantasy Books!

In fact, it was #68. As an avid Fantasy (and some science fiction) reader, I agreed and disagreed with various entries on this list. For example, Terry Pratchett's Discworld should have been included as a full series, much like Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series was. Of course, I don't think Wheel of Time should have been included at all, since it's a listless pile of shit, unlike is rousing and endlessly entertaining Conan pastiches.

Anyway, congrats REH. Once again, you've proven to be a king among lesser men.

Read the full list HERE.

French Conan Book Covers!

Thanks to wfkeil for emailing me a link to these cool Conan covers. I'm not exactly sure why that monstor dude is holding a stick with a red grenade on the end of it or why C.O.N.A.N. has periods after each letter. Is it an acronym for something? Crushing Overlord Nemeses All Night? I don't know. 

Via Fantasy Ink

Conan and the Shaman's Curse!

CONAN and the SHAMAN'S CURSE By Sean A. Moore. A review...of sorts...I don't quite know where to start with this baby. So I'll begin at the beginning. Suitable...right?


The story opens with the description of a bloody battlefield on a beach The story plays out so vividly and descript you would think REH wrote this himself. Enter CONAN staring down a score of enemy warriors ready to do him in. CONAN dispatches them with fair enough ease as we read on limbs and heads and entrails fly about the thick ichor and blood filled beach. One last warrior stands facing CONAN...but in the throng of battle CONAN already wounded this man in the leg. He is bleeding out fast. It turns out he is a SHAMAN and casts a curse upon CONAN. The SHAMAN dies succumbing to the loss of blood from his severed femoral artery ( Apparently ) . Just having red dust blown into his face CONAN collapses only to wake up hours later from a fitful nightmare where he was running naked through a jungle tackling an antelope and rending it with his teeth and bare hands.

CONAN then begins gathering his fallen comrades into a large pile and lighting a funeral pyre. An arduous task that takes him all day. The least he could do right? But he see's dozens of enemy horsemen heading his way he tries to hide but they see him and give chase. His only escape is to swim out to the boat that he spots in the distance. Several enemy riders dismount and try to catch him by swimming after while others try to pick him off by bow from the beach. But he makes it to the boat thus escaping. As he climbs aboard the boat he attempts to buy his way with some gold he had tucked in his belt. He is given a position as an oarsman and sets to task rowing among the others.

Well that don't work out too well for the big ol' Cimmerian because it turns out the Captain of the ship is an old enemy from CONAN'S days as a pirate with Belit and the Black Corsairs. He has his men grab CONAN in another battle where CONAN kills two or three more men before they can bring him down and tie him up in the hold so tight he can't move his fingers.

Well he stays tied up for about three day's in that hold UNTIL...apparently CONAN transforms into a giagantic white haired , man eating Were ape creature!!!! He escapes his bonds and immediately detroys the crew ripping them apart and eating them...the Captain and a few others hide in the Captains quarter's until dawn. In the morning CONAN wakes up naked and full of blood. It's caked to him like he bathed in it...but it's not his. Just as he's gaining his wit's.....a giant sea monster rears it's head and begins to beat on the ship breaking the mast. The exhaustion has now completely left CONAN and he seems renewed with strength and vigor.

He picks up part of the fallen mast and spikes the gigantic monstrocity right in the eye piercing it's brain and killing it. At that point the Captain and his crew show themselves and set themselves upon CONAN with flashing and flailing blades. The Captain nicks CONAN with a dagger...but CONAN being a seasoned fighter and no stranger to close quarter combat with blades kills his assailants handily. He jumps into the life boat and escapes the sinking ship with naught but some rope and a sword. So far...this is only a third of the way through the book.

As he rows away from the sinking ship he feels a weird sensation and looks down at his arm where he was nicked and can tell right away that the dagger was poisoned. UGH!!!

He makes a couple of slashes around the wound and sucks out the poison. Feeling nauseas and sick he ties himself to the lifeboat and spikes his sword into the side of the boat so that it does not fall off into the sea. He passes out from the poison. Sure enough...he wakes on another beach and his boat was smashed while he was in his drugged slumber but parts of it have washed ashore with him including the piece of wood he drove his sword into. He wakes up regains his senses and searches for food. He finds coconuts and has a small satisfying feast and replenishes his weary drugged and battle torn body.

Just then he notices some canoes moving in with what ( By description can only be the Hyborian age counter parts to Samoan warriors ) looks like 30 large warriors bigger than himself. He takes cover in the trees....as large Carnivorous Vulture like bird creatures with fanged beaks swoop down upon them and another bloody descript battle ensues. CONAN can not help himself and he joins the fray in order to help. These warriors are using oars as weapons and faring well against the Vulture monsters but...CONAN has his sword and he takes out twice as many Bird things as any other warrior in half the time.

When the battle is done. CONAN makes eye contact with the eldest of the warriors ( They are called the Ganak's ) But before he can speak or try to communicate...he once again succumbs to exhaustion and pretty much faints. ( This CONAN falling asleep stuff begins to form a pattern eh? Just about every case results in a fitful nightmare for CONAN ) Too much exertion and not enough recouperation time. There are 7 warriors left out of the 30 that rowed ashore and the eldest says that CONAN is the chosen one sent by their savior in time of need in order to help them against their ancient enemies.

One warrior scoff's at the old warrior and picks up CONAN'S sword and they leave CONAN on the island and row back out toward their own island a short distance away. But not before the older warrior draws a crude map in the sand as a clue for CONAN to follow. ( By now this is just about almost halfway through the book. ) CONAN wakes up...and see's the clue in the sand and follows it and gets in a canoe and heads toward the nearby island. He follows clues left by the old man to a trail in the jungle. Noticing strange fruit hanging from the trees CONAN plucks a couple of apple sized fruits and bites into them sucking out the fruity juicy meat and discarding the rough outer skin or shell whatever it is. He discovers that it is bitter but tastes faintly like Coconuts. But he needs nourishment and eats it despite the bitter taste. As he walks along he notices as one of the fruit pieces falls from a branch and cracks on the ground and thousands of tiny spiders spew forth from it and he wretches and gags...he just ate two of those...BLECHH!!!!

He notices a gigantic spider just before it shoots it's sticky webbing at him and he has no time to react or draw his sword before it is on him and has it's monstorous pincer mandibles around his waist as venom from the pincers secretes from it's jaws and bathes CONAN from the waste down in icky nasty spider venon. With no weapon no clothes and only his bare hands CONAN grabs the pincers and struggles for long moments pitting his strength against the spider's jaws until...he rips it's head open and it relinqueshes it's grasp on him.

Not far away the GANAK warriors are having a council and it was decided among the elders that CONAN is indeed the chosen one and they have been ordered to give him back his sword and find him.

Now.....in case you have not noticed that is an awful lot of action all crammed into the first half of the book. This book is a damned good read and I thoroughly enjoyed it....Action...Monsters....nightmares...gory battles....Were apes.....fantastic exploits and encounters. One nasty hairy situation after the next. I know for sure that after you read this book you'll have a new appreciation for a hero you already love. This is CONAN at his best....and it don't stop there!

My Conan Collection!

Hail Fellow Conan Fans! Well, as some of you may know, I just recently moved into a new house with enough space to give me my very own room, which I have dubbed "The Nerdatorium". The best part of having my own space (it's actually a home office, since I'm starting to work from home in 2 weeks) is that I finally get to dig out all of my collectibles from their Rubbermaid prisons and get them out in the open on a shelf where they belong.

Foremost in my collection of toys, comics and books is, of course, my prized Conan collection! No longer is it sealed up in storage! Finally, my collection can see the light of day and take up its rightful place of honor!

And since I had it all out on some shelves, I thought I'd snap a few pics and share with you all.

On the lower shelf we see my collection of Conan novels and pastiches. And yes, I have read all of these (well, most of them). Standing guard over my beloved paperback collection are my various Conan figures. More on them in a bit.

The upper shelf contains my larger Conan books; a couple of retrospectives, hardback novels and trade paperbacks. Sadly, I know for a fact that some are missing, so there must be another bin somewhere. probably in the garage. Good grief.

By the way, you see the two big books on the left? I highly recommend both of them to any Conan fan!

The first of the figures is my NECA "I'm gonna kill all your slave bitches" Conan, as seen in the first movie. I love this figure despite its utter lack of articulation. Also, note the missing index finger. Again, must be rolling around at the bottom of a bin.

Here we have a small Conan statue originally released by Dark Horse comics. This is a repainted special promotions piece originally seen in the "Frost Giant's Daughter" PVC set. I got this bad boy at a discount bookstore for $2. They had a pile of them and I'm now kicking myself for not buying them all and having a give-away or something. Sorry, gang.

Ahhhh, yes... the Comic Book Legends Conan! He came with his Marvel Comics arch nemesis, Wharrl: the Devourer of Souls!

And, of course, my prized Mego Conan. A gift from my homie Greg and still one of my very most beloved toys in my entire collection. Thanks Greg!

While I was digging through another bin, I stumbled across a few Marvel Comics Treasury Editions. I've found these here and there over the years and actually forgot that I had a couple of these. The last one appeared on this very blog after I found it at the Emerald City Comic Con and had it signed by the great Ernie Chan himself! (Look in the center "N" in CONAN)

Well, that's the collection so far, minus a book or two. And I also have to track down an original piece of Conan trading card art from my good friend, Bubbashelby. It's around here somewhere.

And of course, this also does not take into account the hundreds of Conan comics I have, which are all sitting in a giant stack right now. I'm picking up some comic book long-boxes this weekend and plan on putting them all in order and then making a list of which ones I need. I'm sure I'll have a ton of doubles, so I think I smell a CROM! give-away on the horizon! ;)

Thanks for checking out the collection!

Vintage Howard Conan Hardbacks!

Here's yet another eBay find. These are original Conan hardback releases from the probably around the mid 1960's. I love how the covers don't even have the titles on them, just weird pieces of spot illustration. In fact, they don't even mention that they are Conan stories! Very cool...

The Complete Chronicles of Conan by Robert E. Howard

The Complete Chronicles of Conan is now available on Amazon.com, well, depending who who ask. I got an e-mail from Amazon informing me that the book, which collects every single Conan story by Robert E. Howard, will go on sale April 1st (which may be a joke, haha) but the Amazon page itself, says it's available now. Either way, it could soon be yours!



It's a beautiful hardback running at around a thousand pages and illustrated throughout, including one gorgeous color-plate that you can see here...



So if you ever wanted every Howard story all in one volume, now's your chance!

Book Review: Conan the Hunter by Sean A. Moore

As many Conan fans know, the Conan pastiche novels can really be hit or miss. Some are excellent (Robert Jordan) and some are steaming piles of giant snake poo (anything by Steve Perry). For the most part, the vast majority of the pastiche novels fall comfortably in the middle. None of them will ever please the Howard-purists, and I understand that. But for those of us that can appreciate the different takes an author can give on the Conan character and just like a good rip-roarin' tale of battles, wenches and treasures, the pastiches can often provide.

This is definitely the case with Conan the Hunter, by Sean A. Moore. Like Moore's other Conan novels, Conan and the Grim Grey God and Conan and the Shaman's Curse, this novel read like Moore wrote down all of the more adventurous high points of his latest Dungeons & Dragons campaign, added Conan into the story and then wrapped it all up with tidy, quick-reading prose. Moore is always very mindful of fully developing the other characters in his stories. In fact, there were parts of the novel when the star of the story would shift briefly, going into deeper detail about a supporting character that will become important to Conan's story later in the book. This development just helps the reader better identify with why Conan would befriend this particular person, or instantly distrust this other person. Also, Moore's takes on Conan always seem to have a bit more adventure and fantasy added to them than many other authors', and I always seem to finish his books going, "Phew! What a ride!"

The story in a nutshell starts out with Conan getting set up for a murder and robbery he didn't commit, then he gets his arm broken, then healed, then murders some Brythunian city guards for picking a fight with the wrong barbarian, then battles a hideous one-eyed, pustulent tentacled beast is the sewers, and this is just the beginning of the story!

He later teams up with a Kenzankian hillman and a priest of Mitra to hunt down one nasty, vampiric she-bitch of a sorceress who used dark magic to sap the life from the new King of Brythunia. And this hussy is a piece of work. Part witch, part vampire and all evil.

There are deadly bar brawls, living gods made of molten bronze, silver-tongued demons, razor-clawed gargoyles, talking green-eyed spiders and page after page of broken bones and spilled blood.

So if you want to sink your teeth into a gritty, fantastic Conan novel, read this one as soon as you can.

And that's all I have to say about that, by Crom!

Conan of Venarium by Harry Turtledove: Book Review

Here's your quick review:

If you are a Conan "purist" of any kind, DO NOT READ THIS BOOK.

If you want a good rousing tale of what it "may" have been like in Conan's youth and you can be cool with different authors' takes on the Conan mythos, then go pick it up and have a good read. Turtledove is more than a skilled storyteller, even if he doesn't always get the feel for Conan quite right.

There. Hope that helps!

More Conan Swag Found of eBay!

I love it when I find something Conan-related that I've never seen before (and I assure you that that rarely happens), so imagine my surprise when I found this sweet Conan pocket size collection of comics which looks to be written in Italian (I could be wrong, all I know is that it's not English or Stygian). But what really makes this a beauty is that it's signed by none other than Barry Windsor Smith himself! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet...







And if you're looking for something Conan-related to carry your lunch in, get yourself one of these Conan the Adventurer lunch boxes! Based on the incredibly non-Conan-like cartoon where he had a talking bird sidekick!





And since we've already stunk up today's blog by bringing up the cartoon (which I secretly loved but will never tell any of you that), it looks like some schmoe raided the dumpsters behind the animation studio the day they cleaned out their archives, because he's selling all kinds of old animation cells including these rather nice Conan the Adventurer cells showcasing pretty good shots of our main man from Cimmeria...

"Hey! What's that up there?"


"Wait... Do I still have my shield? Yep. Still got it!"


"Okay, now what was I looking at?"


"Screw it!"


"I wanna hit something with my sword! CROM!"


That's it for today, I think I need to grab one of those animation cells!