Conan the Barbarian Autograph Trading Cards!

Found these beauties on eBay, but the seller didn't have a lot of info one them. Looks like you get a series of "autographed" cards from various Conan actors like James Earl Jones, Mako, Sarah Douglas and the dude who played Rexor. Then you get three other cards without autographs, unfortunately, it would be the three autographs I would want the most! Oh well. The seller failed to mention if the autographs are genuine or just printed on. These sets are ringing in at $150 each, so they better be the real deal!



I found another almost identical set from the same seller that gives you three Conan cards instead of a Subotai and a Valeria.



Here's a closer look...





Then, after a little searching, I came across this genuine Arnold autograph card with a price tag on it of a whopping $1,500! CROM!





I can't lie, having these in the collection would be awesome. Maybe one of you millionaires out there could get them for yourself and then we could all live vicariously through you. ;)

La Reina de la Costa Negra!

For my non-Spanish-speaking amigos, "La Reina de la Costa Negra" translates as "The Queen of the Black Coast" which many of you know is a favorite Conan storyline showcasing the time period in which Conan spent cruising around the coast of Hyboria with his sweetheart, Belit, kicking arse and taking names. Oh, and stealing stuff.

Way back in the 50's, long before we here in the States had our own Conan comic books, Mexico took the Queen of the Black Coast story and ran with it, making La Reina de la Costa Negra, which casted Belit as the star and making Conan a secondary supporting character... and blonde, too!

But they sure turned Belit into a spicy rough-n-tumble go-getter, eh? And take a look at those getaway-sticks!

I would push a toddler off of a cliff to get my hands on some of these!

Conan the...Umm... Pocketknife?!

What do Conan fans use when they feel the sudden urge to whittle or cut a small piece of string? They use the official Conan pocketknife, by Crom!







This is another eBay find. I have no idea how "official" it is. It says Conan the Adventurer on the flip side, making me think that this was in conjunction with the ill-fated TV show. But why the hell is there a cow skull on it?

Conan Comics 3 Pack!

You all remember when you could buy comics sealed up in those bags in sets of three for super cheap? You used to be able to find them in convenience stores or on a rack at truck stops and gas stations. One of my favorite parts about taking a family road trip was when we'd stop at this one "highway oasis" and I'd always get to pick out three or four packs because they were hella cheap, would guarantee my parents several hours of peace and quiet from the back seat, and would add a whopping stack of 12 new comics to my collection.

I always tried to get the cooler ones, usually from comic companies like Dell or Whitman, so I'd scour the racks for titles like The Phantom, Turok the Dinosaur Hunter or the Boris Karloff horror comics. Every now and then, the pickings would be slim and I'd have to settle for some Bugs Bunny or or Donald Duck comics. But I never, never in all my days, saw a three pack of Conan the Barbarian comics, especially one containing the famous Conan #100, which ended the Queen of the Black Coast issues with Belit's tragic demise!



But it appears that they existed! I found this little treat on eBay and had to post it here. Look at that single color half-tone screened thermographic packaging! (Sorry, I'm a graphic designer and sometimes slip into designer speak.) If I would have found this at the rest stop back then, my parents would have died of embarrassment as I bellowed out, "By Erlik's black beard!" and then held the three-pack up in victory, yowling Cimmerian war cries. ;)

Marvel Comics: What If Wolverine Fought Conan the Barbarian?

I found this yesterday at my local used book store and snatched it up faster than a Zingaran on a dropped copper! I had this issue back in the day, since lost it, and now have it again (See? Life is a circle.) and now we're going to take a look at it!



So, this is a valid question in the world of comics. But I'm not sure you're all going to like the answer. It all starts out like most What If... issues where the Watcher dude with the big head screws up and sends somebody where they shouldn't be. In this case, Wolverine lands in the world of Hyboria and it doesn't take him long to run into trouble. Specifically, trouble with flowing red locks and a sword.



But then Logan starts wanting to get in Sonja's chainmail panties and beats her in a fight and she's all like, "Okay, but I'm not going to like it." and then somehow they get sidetracked by Conan showing up and him and Wolverine don't get along at all.



So, down to the nitty gritty of the question, What if Wolverine fought Conan? The answer? Conan gets his hand cut off!



But, Conan being a badass and all, he just sticks the bloody stump in a burning brazier and cauterizes it on the spot.



Then some stuff happens and Conan gets zapped away, and then it ends with them implying that Wolverine takes Conan's place, becoming King of Aquilonia with Red Sonja as his wife! Bah!



But the funny part is at the very end, where the X-men are fighting some bad guys and out of this weird portal thingy pops this howling, one-handed Conan who just starts shoving his sword into Skrulls and other baddies. Then the X-men run away.



But for a real laugh, the Marvel gang included this final page of the comic...



B'waugh! Haw! Haw!

Not Quite Conan: Knittar!

Okay, I've just got to give a big shout out to fellow blogger and genius cartoonist, Dave Lowe who run a brilliant cartoon blog called Para Abnormal, and one of his recurring characters is a somewhat Conan-esque warrior of the knitting world named Knittar! This makes me laugh like a weed-smoking hyena.







Stop by Dave's blog and read all of his hilarious comics and then shower him with praise and gifts!

He's Got My Vote!

Okay, this was me just goofing around with this funny little widget that lets you make any Obama style poster you want. So, you know I couldn't resist making a Conan one. It's a hoot! You guys can try it out HERE.

"Not Conan" Model Available from Nocturna Models!

I found a post in the Conan Forums linking to this sweet model of what appears to be our very own King of Aquilonia from Nocturna Studios. It looks like they probably did not have the licensing rights to actually call this fellow "Conan" so they just titled it "The Usurper". Still, it's a beauty of a model!

Take a closer look HERE, but don't expect anything to be in English. So good luck ordering it. ;)

New Conan the Cimmerian Cover by Joseph Micheal Linsner is... ummm... Just Okay.

Is it me or is Dark Horse letting us down a bit with the covers of the new Conan comic? I've never been a big Linsner fan, so maybe I'm being biased. But all of the covers from this new title have left me missing the grittiness that the Hyborian world deserves.

What do you guys think?

Conan Teaser Poster! Hmmm...

So this poster started making the rounds on the various Conan blogs and forums back in September and I wrote it off as a total fake. But it's still floating around and inspiring people to declare that a new Conan movie is now in the works. Quite frankly, I still think is all hokum. Just look at the amateur Photoshop job! And why would they use the same sword from the original movie if it's supposed to be a new re-telling of the tale? And why by Crom's black beard is the sword stuck in a stone? Is this some Arthurian take of the King of Aquilonia? Dubious, to say the least.



Let's hear what you guys think! A sign of things to come or some nerd spreading cinematic humbug?

New Warcraft Action Figure Looks a Lot Like a Barbarian We Know!

Toy News International released some shots of the new DC World of Warcraft Unlimited action figures and one of the characters reminded me of a certain barbarian destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow. So, although not officially a Conan action figure, a little bit of modifying and customization could turn this figure into one hell of a Conan! I'm probably going to have to grab one of these when they hit the stores.

Take a look!





You can see more pics of the other figures in the line and get more info HERE.

Conan the Adventurer - Episode 5

Conan Desktop Wallpaper!

Hail all!

I just wanted to link you all to this really sweet Conan desktop wallpaper from the Conan: Dark Axe video game. It Cimmeria-riffic!



Get the full size wallpaper HERE!

Book Review: Conan the Hunter by Sean A. Moore

As many Conan fans know, the Conan pastiche novels can really be hit or miss. Some are excellent (Robert Jordan) and some are steaming piles of giant snake poo (anything by Steve Perry). For the most part, the vast majority of the pastiche novels fall comfortably in the middle. None of them will ever please the Howard-purists, and I understand that. But for those of us that can appreciate the different takes an author can give on the Conan character and just like a good rip-roarin' tale of battles, wenches and treasures, the pastiches can often provide.

This is definitely the case with Conan the Hunter, by Sean A. Moore. Like Moore's other Conan novels, Conan and the Grim Grey God and Conan and the Shaman's Curse, this novel read like Moore wrote down all of the more adventurous high points of his latest Dungeons & Dragons campaign, added Conan into the story and then wrapped it all up with tidy, quick-reading prose. Moore is always very mindful of fully developing the other characters in his stories. In fact, there were parts of the novel when the star of the story would shift briefly, going into deeper detail about a supporting character that will become important to Conan's story later in the book. This development just helps the reader better identify with why Conan would befriend this particular person, or instantly distrust this other person. Also, Moore's takes on Conan always seem to have a bit more adventure and fantasy added to them than many other authors', and I always seem to finish his books going, "Phew! What a ride!"

The story in a nutshell starts out with Conan getting set up for a murder and robbery he didn't commit, then he gets his arm broken, then healed, then murders some Brythunian city guards for picking a fight with the wrong barbarian, then battles a hideous one-eyed, pustulent tentacled beast is the sewers, and this is just the beginning of the story!

He later teams up with a Kenzankian hillman and a priest of Mitra to hunt down one nasty, vampiric she-bitch of a sorceress who used dark magic to sap the life from the new King of Brythunia. And this hussy is a piece of work. Part witch, part vampire and all evil.

There are deadly bar brawls, living gods made of molten bronze, silver-tongued demons, razor-clawed gargoyles, talking green-eyed spiders and page after page of broken bones and spilled blood.

So if you want to sink your teeth into a gritty, fantastic Conan novel, read this one as soon as you can.

And that's all I have to say about that, by Crom!

Conehead the Barbituate!

I remember reading this back in the December 1982 issue of Mad magazine and have been looking for it for years. Don Martin's hilarious artwork always cracked me up. I found it a little while back online from a fan site that seems to no longer be there... hmmm. Oh well. Good thing I saved the jpegs when I did!

So sit back and enjoy Conehead the Barbituate! (Sorry about the hard-to-read scans, but again, I just found 'em. And yes, I did notice that they spelled barbiturate wrong, but they're Mad magazine and they can do whatever they want.)

New Conan Statue by Clayburn Moore Based on Frazetta Painting

Any Conan fan worth his salt has seen the famous "Conan the Conqueror" painting by the great Frank Frazetta...



Well, now thanks to the excellent sculpting work of Clayburn Moore of The CS Moore Studio, you can have your very own three dimensional version!









You can check out even more pics and order one HERE. Feel free to buy and extra one for me as well. ;)

Conan Birthday Art!

This is so funny. My good friend, Ryan, painted this Conan picture for my birthday and sent it to me yesterday (my birthday was 2 months ago, he's not the most punctual), and I thought it was so awesome that I had to post it here for all to see!

Custom Conan Heroclix Figure!

I've never played Heroclix, but I gather that it's very similar to other miniature battle games like Heroscape and whatnot, but I've known quite a few people that were crazy into it (I had one friend years ago that used to go around the country winning tournaments) and so it doesn't surprise me to see people out there are starting to make their own custom Heroclix figures. This figure that I found on eBay (which has since sold) could very well answer the eternal question "If Conan fought [insert superhero's name here], who would win?"

I'm betting on the barbarian. ;)

Conan the Adventurer - Episode 4