Conan Comics Haul!

Hail All! It's been a while since I last posted, but things have been slow in the lands of Hyboria. However, yesterday I found a stack of Conan comics at my local favorite used book store, each one for 25 cents! That leaves me enough gold left over for a flagon of cheap wine, a belly full of hot mutton and a roll or two with a lusty wench!

Check this stack out...





















That'll fill in some gaps in the collection! But the best prize of all with this Giant Size Conan #5, featuring the famous team-up of Conan and Elric!



Okay, gotta go. I've got some comics to read!

Conan Fighting... Well... EVERYONE!

Hail Fellow Conan Fans!

If you want to see Conan fighting Cobra Commander, cutting off Cthulu's hand, Facing off with Wolverine in an alley, or cutting off Destro's head while riding a My Little Pony and many more, head on over to Bam! Kapow! and let their "Conan Versus Gallery" melt your friggin brain, by Crom!

Here's a taste...

Conan the Barbarian Autograph Trading Cards!

Found these beauties on eBay, but the seller didn't have a lot of info one them. Looks like you get a series of "autographed" cards from various Conan actors like James Earl Jones, Mako, Sarah Douglas and the dude who played Rexor. Then you get three other cards without autographs, unfortunately, it would be the three autographs I would want the most! Oh well. The seller failed to mention if the autographs are genuine or just printed on. These sets are ringing in at $150 each, so they better be the real deal!



I found another almost identical set from the same seller that gives you three Conan cards instead of a Subotai and a Valeria.



Here's a closer look...





Then, after a little searching, I came across this genuine Arnold autograph card with a price tag on it of a whopping $1,500! CROM!





I can't lie, having these in the collection would be awesome. Maybe one of you millionaires out there could get them for yourself and then we could all live vicariously through you. ;)

La Reina de la Costa Negra!

For my non-Spanish-speaking amigos, "La Reina de la Costa Negra" translates as "The Queen of the Black Coast" which many of you know is a favorite Conan storyline showcasing the time period in which Conan spent cruising around the coast of Hyboria with his sweetheart, Belit, kicking arse and taking names. Oh, and stealing stuff.

Way back in the 50's, long before we here in the States had our own Conan comic books, Mexico took the Queen of the Black Coast story and ran with it, making La Reina de la Costa Negra, which casted Belit as the star and making Conan a secondary supporting character... and blonde, too!

But they sure turned Belit into a spicy rough-n-tumble go-getter, eh? And take a look at those getaway-sticks!

I would push a toddler off of a cliff to get my hands on some of these!

Conan the...Umm... Pocketknife?!

What do Conan fans use when they feel the sudden urge to whittle or cut a small piece of string? They use the official Conan pocketknife, by Crom!







This is another eBay find. I have no idea how "official" it is. It says Conan the Adventurer on the flip side, making me think that this was in conjunction with the ill-fated TV show. But why the hell is there a cow skull on it?

Conan Comics 3 Pack!

You all remember when you could buy comics sealed up in those bags in sets of three for super cheap? You used to be able to find them in convenience stores or on a rack at truck stops and gas stations. One of my favorite parts about taking a family road trip was when we'd stop at this one "highway oasis" and I'd always get to pick out three or four packs because they were hella cheap, would guarantee my parents several hours of peace and quiet from the back seat, and would add a whopping stack of 12 new comics to my collection.

I always tried to get the cooler ones, usually from comic companies like Dell or Whitman, so I'd scour the racks for titles like The Phantom, Turok the Dinosaur Hunter or the Boris Karloff horror comics. Every now and then, the pickings would be slim and I'd have to settle for some Bugs Bunny or or Donald Duck comics. But I never, never in all my days, saw a three pack of Conan the Barbarian comics, especially one containing the famous Conan #100, which ended the Queen of the Black Coast issues with Belit's tragic demise!



But it appears that they existed! I found this little treat on eBay and had to post it here. Look at that single color half-tone screened thermographic packaging! (Sorry, I'm a graphic designer and sometimes slip into designer speak.) If I would have found this at the rest stop back then, my parents would have died of embarrassment as I bellowed out, "By Erlik's black beard!" and then held the three-pack up in victory, yowling Cimmerian war cries. ;)

Marvel Comics: What If Wolverine Fought Conan the Barbarian?

I found this yesterday at my local used book store and snatched it up faster than a Zingaran on a dropped copper! I had this issue back in the day, since lost it, and now have it again (See? Life is a circle.) and now we're going to take a look at it!



So, this is a valid question in the world of comics. But I'm not sure you're all going to like the answer. It all starts out like most What If... issues where the Watcher dude with the big head screws up and sends somebody where they shouldn't be. In this case, Wolverine lands in the world of Hyboria and it doesn't take him long to run into trouble. Specifically, trouble with flowing red locks and a sword.



But then Logan starts wanting to get in Sonja's chainmail panties and beats her in a fight and she's all like, "Okay, but I'm not going to like it." and then somehow they get sidetracked by Conan showing up and him and Wolverine don't get along at all.



So, down to the nitty gritty of the question, What if Wolverine fought Conan? The answer? Conan gets his hand cut off!



But, Conan being a badass and all, he just sticks the bloody stump in a burning brazier and cauterizes it on the spot.



Then some stuff happens and Conan gets zapped away, and then it ends with them implying that Wolverine takes Conan's place, becoming King of Aquilonia with Red Sonja as his wife! Bah!



But the funny part is at the very end, where the X-men are fighting some bad guys and out of this weird portal thingy pops this howling, one-handed Conan who just starts shoving his sword into Skrulls and other baddies. Then the X-men run away.



But for a real laugh, the Marvel gang included this final page of the comic...



B'waugh! Haw! Haw!

Not Quite Conan: Knittar!

Okay, I've just got to give a big shout out to fellow blogger and genius cartoonist, Dave Lowe who run a brilliant cartoon blog called Para Abnormal, and one of his recurring characters is a somewhat Conan-esque warrior of the knitting world named Knittar! This makes me laugh like a weed-smoking hyena.







Stop by Dave's blog and read all of his hilarious comics and then shower him with praise and gifts!

He's Got My Vote!

Okay, this was me just goofing around with this funny little widget that lets you make any Obama style poster you want. So, you know I couldn't resist making a Conan one. It's a hoot! You guys can try it out HERE.