"The Axes of CONAN"

Over at Random happenstance the blog. random-happenstance.blogspot.com - I found this cool little parody. I took it upon myself to share the humorous strip put together by that blogs Administrator...it is quite funny. Enjoy.

Merry Christmas and Happy New year from all of us!

Borrowed this piece from :
The Amalgam Age of Comics ...a very awesome blog you should all check out. It is a busy time of year with people rushing to and fro and brack and froth and we just want to wish everyone well and a safe and healthy and extremely Happy New Year come what may! Remember ...CROM is watching over you and will let you wander off into the cold all by yourself to freeze to death if you're not paying attention. So CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES , bundle up and be safe!

CONAN Movie special cover by Earl Norem

I wanted to break the streak of parody posts ( Not that it's just not funny but after the Cuomo thing I had to change the pace. ) But I wanted to share this awesome Earl Norem cover on the paperback version of the Marvel comics Conan the barbarian movie adaptation with interiors of course by John Buscema. The Marvel super special contains the same art. The back cover is also just as awesome as the montage piece by Buscema makes a nifty back cover. Norem's version of Arnold's likeness is also pretty damned cool too. I read this book more often than I do the magazine and I almost never touch the 2 part comic book. Norem's interpretation of the famous Movie poster is in my opinion just as good if not better. I am certainly glad they issued the book with a different cover. Seeing Earl's painting brings a certain thrill and chill...it brings me right back to the day when Conan the Barbarian hit the screens for the first time. Probably the coolest movie ever...EVER!!!

CUOMO the Conqueror? Not brand Blechh!!!

I was reading the Daily News yesterday and came across this photo of Arnold's body with Governor of NY Andrew Cuomo's face shopped in. Lets just say...it aint right. Apparently GQ magazine ran an article on The Governor and in it...of course former Governor Shwarzenegger is mentioned as well as NJ Governor Christie and President of the U.S.A , Obama. Is the magazine worth the money to go get it because of this photo...not to me. But someone I'm sure who is motivated by politics and CONAN maybe would want to go get it and read the article. I'm just sharing because...it's a funny picture. Like I said...It just don't look right!

" This aint CONAN the Barbarian "

Over at that adult oriented site "Hustler dot com" ( I disguised the link pretty clever like eh? ) They have a preview of the new adult oriented parody of everyones favorite Sword swinging barbarian getting himself into all kinds of mischief. We're all adults here...so...for those of you who are interested check it out. At least it's not BONAN!

" The Savage Sword of Commander X " by Jay Piscopo

Jay Piscopo , Comic creator , artist , Author and Publisher is responsible for this homage/parody to our favorite Son of Cimmeria. Jay has a unique and classic style all his own. His work reminds me a bit of Alex Toth and some Steve Rude ( Greatly influenced by Toth himself ) Visit Jay's website and check out his products. This drawing right here sparked an idea. Jay ( Who through Dr. Mego ) produces his own COMMANDER X action figures that you can buy online through his website (HERE). You can also visit his Blog on Blogspot (HERE).

....next year the plan is to produce a SAVAGE SWORD version of COMMANDER X ( MEGO ) style action figure complete with furry shorts. I made friends with Jay on the facebook after I saw his Undersea super hero the SEA GHOST comic book. I felt the need to share this drawing with the good readers of CROM...be on the lookout next year for this new Barbaric action figure. I know I'll be getting me one. Dig it!

MARKAN the BARBARIAN

Check out Mark here in this poster dressed as a Barbarian of some sort. Look at his fist going through that helmet.

Me and Mark having a little ( POSED ) arm wrestle at the 1983 JETS SWARM PICNIC in East Meadow NY. I was 15

Mark Gastineau number 99 for the NY JETS from 1979 to 1988 one of the most physically dominant players ever to step foot on the BATTLEFIELD known as the GRIDIRON. In 100 starts he racked up 100 sacks and by the end of his career he had 107 sacks...( 106 and a half actually ) at 6'5" tall and weighing in at 276 lbs he was a powerful and imposing giant among men. His prowess on the field was legendary he would tear helmets in half. Few men in football can lay that claim to fame. He once held the record for most sacks in one season at 22 sacks only broken within the last few years by former NY FOOTBALL GIANT Michael Straihan.

At one time he was married to Brigitte Nielsen ( who went on to play RED SONJA ) he retired from Football to spend more time with her whileshe was going through a tough time with Cancer. Don't worry she beat it. But his career was done. He tried going into the Canadian Football league but he did not get much respect from any of the other members of the league and his career in the CFL was brief. So he turned to boxing and he had a pretty impressive record but that did not last long either. Later on he had done some time in the Pen for drug possession and when he came out he tried going back to boxing. But at that time he was not quite what he used to be as boxers were all training hard to battle big men such as himself. He retired from that as well. Lately he lays low but has been known to make appearances at Sports card trade conventions and other public personal appearances. He is still a legend in the NFL and still has the respect of the league.

In 1983 I met him and actually had a photo taken with him...arm wrestling. This is shortly after a bar fight scrap he'd gotten into with the bouncer of a club in NY over ARM WRESTLING of all things.

An interesting little bit of History here. Sylvester Stallone actually wanted Gastineau to play the part of DRAGO in Rocky III...but for one reason or another Mark turned it down. ( Take it with a grain of salt ) During that time..STALLONE was married to the woman Mark would marry just 2 years later...coincidence? I think not.

That kind of leads to another similar situation between Mickey Roarke , Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa...Jason did not want to share a set with Mickey ( Take it with a grain of salt )...years ago when Lisa ( Jason's wife ) was filming ANGEL HEART with Mickey Roarke it was rumored they had a little on set romance going on....so...The part of CONAN's Daddy was given to Ron Pearlman. Coincidence? Hmmm...Don't buy into these old Hollywood rumors. Anyway...Gastineau will always be one of my heroes. He had that physique and size I always imagined would be pretty much what CONAN looked like up close and personal...and from Gastineau's performance out on the BATTLEFIELD pretty much what it would be like too.

WULF vs IRONJAW

Oh , Maybe 35 years ago...a completely arbitrary guesstimate. A new line of comic books came out headed by former employees of Marvel comics. The goal was to give Marvel a run for their money. Being that Marvel had been called ATLAS comics at one time the name ATLAS was chosen as a dig. The comic books produced were high quality material by some of the best people in the field at the time. Standout comics included Destructor , The Pheonix , Morlock and the midnight men and TWO count'em TWO ...CONAN the Barbarian inspired characters. The comics in the line were done by Neal Adams , Larry Hama , Larry Lieber , Howard Chaykin , Mike Sekowsky , Pablo Marcos and STEVE DITKO! ( As well as several other top talents of the time ) The comic books themselves were well written and very well drawn. They were a comparable product to what Marvel was putting out then.

CONAN was at that time one of the best selling and some months THE best selling comic book at the stands...giving Spiderman the nudge from time to time. So of course other companies whipped up Barbarian characters to jump on the bandwagon...it's an old story we all know and love...DC comics had CLAW and so on Blah , Bla , Blah.

Lets fast forward all the way to the present day. ATLAS comics has seen a revival and TWO count'em TWO of CONAN's distant cousins are making a comeback...against one another.

My comic book store does not get many alternate press comics so..I have to stick with the usual super hero material. Lucky for me he gets DYNAMITE and DARK HORSE books...so I won't miss RED SONJA and CONAN....So As of yet I have not seen these new ATLAS comics..but I am on the hunt for them...( eBay ) Take a look at these awesome covers. Makes you want to go run and find them yourselves right?

If somebody beats you out on that auction..it could be me. Sorry.